Angst A La Carte: My cat is such a loveable asshole. I should've named her Heatherface
mandygomeow: I like alloy.com
mandygomeow: they have plus size jeans with short inseams!
To Feign Reality: Oh sweet
To Feign Reality: lmao Their background image is a Photoshop background
To Feign Reality: Gauze :P
To Feign Reality: Fuck I'm a nerd
mandygomeow: haha
mandygomeow: yeah you are
To Feign Reality: Hey do you speak Spanish? So help me I will kill you if you say "No but I speak Cuban" lol
HulahoopAccident: Nope
To Feign Reality: Ugh fuck
To Feign Reality: None of my beaner friends are online and I hate putting song lyrics through an online translator
HulahoopAccident: Ah damn
HulahoopAccident: I shoulda said yes and made shit up
To Feign Reality: lol
To Feign Reality: "you would want your to paint"
To Feign Reality: Good job, Babelfish
To Feign Reality: Today I told a friend that if Internet Addiction meetings exist, I bet they confiscate phones at the door so we can't update Twitter about the meeting
To Feign Reality: I just accidentally broke a drinking glass by biting into it
xain broccoli: you must give the worst blowjobs
Grimm Epiphany: My stupid boyfriend caught fucking mumps or something on an airplane
To Feign Reality: wtf
Grimm Epiphany: He went to New Mexico to stay with a friend, where he's probably gonna live, and yeah... he sounded like shit last night and his glands are all swollen, he's been shivering and sweating and shit
To Feign Reality: That sucks
To Feign Reality: I bet he's turning into a woman
To Feign Reality: Ranma-chan or some shit
Grimm Epiphany: HAHAHA
Grimm Epiphany: Ranma 1/2
Grimm Epiphany: Shut up
To Feign Reality: Is that her name? You know I don't watch that crap lol
Grimm Epiphany: Me either but amazingly I knew *cough* Actually I've never seen that but it's pretty damned old, I've been reading about since like 1998
To Feign Reality: Haha
To Feign Reality: That's how long I've known Moises
To Feign Reality: I can't believe I've known my high school friends for 10 years, fuck
Grimm Epiphany: I know, right... nothing like making you feel like a goddamned geezer like realizing that your 10 year reunion really isn't that far away
To Feign Reality: ...OH MY GOD
To Feign Reality: What the hell is scrapple?
Krikkit Minion: Scrapple?
Krikkit Minion: Scat and apple
Krikkit Minion: Made myself laugh
To Feign Reality: XD
To Feign Reality: http://xkcd.com/27/
To Feign Reality: Scrapple Jacks
To Feign Reality: Apparently it's a meat
To Feign Reality: But I've never heard of it
Krikkit Minion: Scrapple is a savory mush in which cornmeal and flour, often buckwheat flour, are simmered with pork scraps and trimmings
Krikkit Minion: mmhmm
Krikkit Minion: good eats
To Feign Reality: lmfao
To Feign Reality: Anything that starts off with the definition "is a savory mush" has GOT to be good
bithas: wow
bithas: two mexican flamenco guitarists are doing mettalica on leno
bithas: twilight zone
To Feign Reality: lol
To Feign Reality: That is just so much suck piled into one sentence
bithas: LOLOLOL
bithas: HHAHAHAHAHA
bithas: i'm seriously crying
To Feign Reality: I remember you once telling me you hated babies because they smell funny lol
To Feign Reality: "They smell like new skin"
snafubar1199: yeah...fresh babies smell terrible
To Feign Reality: I've come to the conclusion, by jumping on my Jump To Conclusions mat, that people who have ever actually been molested never bring it up, or at least don't bluntly hint at it like "I can't look at a priest without wanting to cry"
bithas: there are 8 dudes here and were cooking sauseges
To Feign Reality: So it's a sausage fest?
bithas: doubly
To Feign Reality: lol
To Feign Reality: Do you seriously wear a size 17 shoe?
LESSTHANPEZ1: yeah
To Feign Reality: Are we talking high heels here?
LESSTHANPEZ1: no.
LESSTHANPEZ1: XD
LESSTHANPEZ1: 17 in mens.
To Feign Reality: I could fucking live in one of your shoes
To Feign Reality: Your shoe could be my first apartment
LESSTHANPEZ1: lmao
LESSTHANPEZ1: my shoes are expensive like whoah
To Feign Reality: No kidding
To Feign Reality: Like I said, my first apartment, they probably cost hundreds XD
LESSTHANPEZ1: LOL
To Feign Reality: 6'6 with size 17 shoe, I bet my entire body would fit into one of your pantlegs
LESSTHANPEZ1: XD
To Feign Reality: Xaaaaaaaain
xain broccoli: oh god what now
To Feign Reality: The Pet Shop Boys are playing in September, wanna go?
xain broccoli: i think youre confusing me with one of your disco dancing queerboy friends
To Feign Reality: Who's the confused one? Wanna go? :D
xain broccoli: i hate you
Grimm Epiphany: Be checking your mail
Grimm Epiphany: Your real mail
Grimm Epiphany: Not the computer mail
To Feign Reality: I got your letter today lol
Grimm Epiphany: My Valentine?
To Feign Reality: Yeah, the one you totally glitter glued together
Grimm Epiphany: >_____>
Grimm Epiphany: I hoped you wouldn't notice
To Feign Reality: lol Uh, yeah
Grimm Epiphany: That was the first one I did and the only I used glitter glue on after that. lol
To Feign Reality: You're supposed to wait for it to DRY before folding it in half and putting it in the envelope
Grimm Epiphany: BUT I DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF ATTENTION SPAN
Heatherface: ARE YOU SERIOUS IT'S ALMOST 5AM
Heatherface: Fuck, I'd better head to bed, I can't believe it got this late
Rigo: XD do you honestly lose track of time that easily?
Heatherface: I played The Sims earlier, you tell me
Grimm Epiphany: Is he black?
To Feign Reality: He's so black he'd have to smile at night to be visible
Grimm Epiphany: lmao
To Feign Reality: I'm like a little fortress, then you finally get me in bed and you have to get thru all my clothing, I'm like a video game with lots of levels and my vagina's the final boss
Grimm Epiphany: What the Hell are you wearing on your face?
To Feign Reality: Your mom
Grimm Epiphany: lol
Grimm Epiphany: Great
Grimm Epiphany: My fucking cat died
To Feign Reality: *tries to avoid making jokes* Damn dude, what happened?
Grimm Epiphany: I don't know, man
Grimm Epiphany: My mom has known all day and just told me
To Feign Reality: lol "Oh by the way"
To Feign Reality: How old was the cat?
Grimm Epiphany: I dunno, not too old, not quite a full grown cat
Grimm Epiphany: Earlier, before I knew, my mom was all 'um, we have too much cat food, I want to take this cat back' I'm all 'Well, why? We're just going to need it in a few weeks' and she's like 'alright I guess you're right' and then I tried to buy a cat toy and my mom's like 'not today' when we had plenty of money
Grimm Epiphany: FUCK
To Feign Reality: lol
To Feign Reality: Your mom's dumb
Grimm Epiphany: *cat food
Grimm Epiphany: Don't say that, my mother's a saint!
Grimm Epiphany: Dorothy Mantooth is a saint!
To Feign Reality: A dumb one
To Feign Reality: lol
To Feign Reality: I know I know *punches self in head*
Grimm Epiphany: She's not dumb, she just didn't want to make me sad, but it's not like I'm five anymore either
To Feign Reality: By the way, Santa's not real
Grimm Epiphany: Yeah
Grimm Epiphany: I'm just pissed off
Grimm Epiphany: I want to go pick the cat up and yell 'WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU DEAD' at it
To Feign Reality: lol
Grimm Epiphany: I'd better trek up to the old Pet Sematary
To Feign Reality: lol
Grimm Epiphany: Shit pisses me off
Grimm Epiphany: "Mommy, I would love you better if you got me a new kitty"
Grimm Epiphany: "I thought I made you happy just being your mother"
Grimm Epiphany: "GET ME THE FUCKING CAT"
To Feign Reality: lol
Grimm Epiphany: Fuck this, I'm going to play Hitman
To Feign Reality: lol Okay
To Feign Reality: Try not to strangle any cats
Bootleg Panda: learning to cook is a very good skill to learn
Bootleg Panda: if you're a picky eater like me
To Feign Reality: I'll just cook the same meal about 50 times to boost my skill level up, it'll be a snap
Bootleg Panda: XD
Bootleg Panda: I can't believe you just said that
To Feign Reality: XD
Bootleg Panda: I can actually
Bootleg Panda: *dubs you a sim*
To Feign Reality: Poking yourself in the eye sucks
thirstybartender: yeah especially with something other than your finger
To Feign Reality: Yeah, my gigantic penis sure loves to play tricks on me
thirstybartender: lol
To Feign Reality: Mature people don't let stupid shit affect them so much
Grimm Epiphany: I don't have to take this, you killed Jesus. lol
To Feign Reality: lol
To Feign Reality: Hey look, shiny wampum *dangles beads in your face*
ihatexjimmypage: my cousin lost a finger today
To Feign Reality: Tell him to retrace his steps and look in places he remembers going, it'll be in the last place he looks
ihatexjimmypage: lol you're such a dick heather
ihatexjimmypage: if i was close to him i'd probably go there and beat you right now
To Feign Reality: As long as it's not Monopoly, 'cause I really kick ass at that game
ihatexjimmypage: don't say "i get to be the shoe" or i WILL come kill you
To Feign Reality: But I get to be the -- *walks away whistling*
Grimm Epiphany: I should write a Wikipedia entry
To Feign Reality: For what?
Grimm Epiphany: "Heather Haft"
To Feign Reality: Jesus no, people can edit those entries lol
To Feign Reality: Heather Haft is
Grimm Epiphany: lol
Grimm Epiphany: Goddamn
Grimm Epiphany: I hate when people remind me of how shitty going blind is
To Feign Reality: lol
Grimm Epiphany: I try not to think about it too much, but then when some asshole asks me 'what's wrong' and then I tell them, and they're like 'That must suck' 'Well, I've been dealing with it for a while, basically since birth...' 'No, I mean, it has to be really rough!' 'Yeah, only when assholes remind me about it'
To Feign Reality: lol
To Feign Reality: "GEE I SURE LOVE HAVING EYEBALLS THAT WORKS"
To Feign Reality: I OBVIOUSLY MEANT WORK
Grimm Epiphany: lmao
To Feign Reality: You know, that thing my brain doesn't do
Grimm Epiphany: It's been on strike since you started eating glue
To Feign Reality: lol
To Feign Reality: OH GOD MY BUTT
Grimm Epiphany: You're like a hair-covered miniature Buddha
To Feign Reality: What? lol
Grimm Epiphany: lol
Grimm Epiphany: Anchorman
To Feign Reality: XD
To Feign Reality: It's amusing how often we both quote shit to each other and always forget what the other's quoting, so we just think we're retarded
Grimm Epiphany: lol
Grimm Epiphany: Yeah
ihatexjimmypage: i ♠ heatherface!
xain broccoli: i ♣ heatherface
To Feign Reality: You guys are assholes lol
Heatherface: Barney came over to watch movies since he has cable but no movie channels, he decided to watch Superman and I wanted nothing to do with it, so I came to fuss around on the computer but then sat with him and mocked the last half hour or so of the movie
Heatherface: It's very mockable, there's a major lack of logic
Heatherface: Like how when he flies off to save the world and everyone runs to their window going "HEY IT'S SUPERMAN YAY LET'S WAVE TO HIM" instead of saying "Oh shit, it's Superman, something must be wrong"
Heatherface: Like a little kid cheering at a firetruck roaring down the street
Midnight: man
Midnight: you remember that band kittie?
Heatherface: Wow, I totally forgot about them
Heatherface: Talk about a passing trend
Midnight: haha yea
Heatherface: They were like the Petshop Boys, you could tell who was gay by who listened to that music
Midnight: is this a bad moment in the conversation to say kittie was my favorite band for a while?
Heatherface: HAHAHA
Heatherface: I should've seen that coming
To Feign Reality: I'm 100% sure if she didn't have a huge rack, guys would actually look at her face and notice how absolutely hideous she is
To Feign Reality: I have to struggle for a few seconds to get my tongue to roll, that's probably why I did so horribly in my Spanish classes
xain broccoli: for a minute there i thought you meant you were giving your teachers blowjobs and couldnt do a certain trick right so they failed you for it
xain broccoli: my sister wanted to make cake today but she couldnt
xain broccoli: mom broke the wooden spoon
xain broccoli: apparently my little brother tried convincing her the F on his report card is really an A, the teacher just drew it dancing cause its so happy
To Feign Reality: I just met this chick whose last name is Pepper, I'm currently trying to convince her to become a doctor
To Feign Reality: I met this person who seriously got pissed the fuck off when I said "freshman" instead of "freshperson"
To Feign Reality: It didn't surprise me in the least to find out they're a 26 year-old virgin who's never even been kissed
Grimm Epiphany: Why am I such a nice person?
To Feign Reality: You're nice?
Grimm Epiphany: YES YOU FUCKER
Grimm Epiphany: ...You did that on purpose
To Feign Reality: She was like "Do you know you're wearing a skirt in that photo?" and I said "Yes, I dressed myself that day"
xain broccoli: youre more beautiful than you realize, inside and out
To Feign Reality: I wouldn't go so far as saying I'm beautiful, but I do know I'm a good friend
xain broccoli: but you ARE beautiful
To Feign Reality: Thanks, Shrek
xain broccoli: lol
xain broccoli: i love you jerkface
Grimm Epiphany: You're invited to the pants party
To Feign Reality: lol
Grimm Epiphany: I think I shat my pants
To Feign Reality: I don't want to come to the party anymore
Grimm Epiphany: lmao
To Feign Reality: Fuck
To Feign Reality: I've been writing letters to Aaron who's in San Diego and every time I start his address I want to write "San Diego, it means a whale's vagina" instead of San Diego, CA
Grimm Epiphany: lolololol
Grimm Epiphany: You dumbass
To Feign Reality: Shut up lol
Grimm Epiphany: lol
Grimm Epiphany: I wonder if the letter would still get there
To Feign Reality: lol
To Feign Reality: Me too
To Feign Reality: I'm making a lingerie shop on The Sims and downloaded all this sex stuff, Rigo was all "You need to get laid" and I said "I already am, that Sim's me"
To Feign Reality: HAHAHA *kills self*
Rigo: do guys talk to you alot about chicks with the impression that it's ok since you kinda swing both ways?
Heatherface: "Since you like chicks, right, do you just look at yourself naked in the mirror all the time?"
Heatherface: Yes to both
Heatherface says:
I got my hair trimmed
Your mom's in my other IM window says:
How much is gone?
Heatherface says:
I said "a trim," in what language does that translate to "I got a new hairstyle"?
Grimm Epiphany: Hold on, my blackberry is buzzing
To Feign Reality: Your what? Bitch, I know you mean Nintendogs or some shit
Grimm Epiphany: GODDAMN NO one likes me
To Feign Reality: Whiner
To Feign Reality: lol *gets stabbed in the neck*
To Feign Reality: I'm such an asshole
Krikkit Minion: I think I might get some white slip ons that I can get autographed at concerts :P
To Feign Reality: XP That's retarded
Krikkit Minion: I know XP
To Feign Reality: XD
Krikkit Minion: I just never have anything that won't get lost easily
To Feign Reality: People lose shoes all the time
Krikkit Minion: Like all my autographs are on notes from school or something
To Feign Reality: ... XD
To Feign Reality: "And General Jimmy Urine d...wait, that's not right"
Krikkit Minion: XD
The5thHorseman23: It seems everyone's afraid to tell people the truth about them.
To Feign Reality: I always tell you how much you suck
To Feign Reality: You think I call you an asshole 'cause I feel like it? It's true, you're a big one
The5thHorseman23: A gaping one?
To Feign Reality: Like, goatse-sized
Krikkit Minion: brb hunni, my friend wants to play some Worms with me
To Feign Reality: Okie dokie
Krikkit Minion is away at 4:36:59 PM.
Krikkit Minion returned at 4:44:52 PM.
Krikkit Minion: That was fucking dumb
Krikkit Minion: "OH HEY DOWNLOAD THIS SHIT SO THE GAME'LL BE BETTER"
Krikkit Minion: That was the most retarded thing I've ever played
To Feign Reality: XP
Krikkit Minion: And all he did was sit there and say how much I sucked. SORRY I'VE ONLY NEVER PLAYED THE GAME HURR
To Feign Reality: lol
Krikkit Minion: Uninstall time
Krikkit Minion: Apparently I'm retarded because everytime I press a key that does soething shit doesn't happen
To Feign Reality: lol
Krikkit Minion: Wow "If you play for an hour you'll love it"
Krikkit Minion: Yeah, the only thing I love more then getting punched in the balls is getting punched in the balls for an hour
To Feign Reality: XD
To Feign Reality: Trying to explain Katamari Damacy to mom is fuckin' hilarious
Krikkit Minion: XD
To Feign Reality: She got an email from one of her co-workers with photos of people dressed as the characters, she's like "Isn't this from a game?" and she described them and I was all "Yeah, it's fuckin' hilarious, the english subtitles are nuts" and I tried explaining the plot to her and she was like "So...the Japanese think the stars are made out of cats and pencils and shit?"
To Feign Reality: NURRRR
Sorthum2000: I had [LASIK] done 12 hours ago. I'm looking at a computer screen without glasses for the first time in 18 years.
To Feign Reality: Nice
To Feign Reality: Maybe now you'll actually start dating cute girls, since your vision's better :-)
Sorthum2000: I hate you. :-)
Sorthum2000: I tried to date a cute girl.
Sorthum2000: You weren't into it!
To Feign Reality: Maybe I'm not as cute as you thought :-)
Sorthum2000: *laughs*
To Feign Reality: That's funny right there
VibratingGlitter: lol
VibratingGlitter: You hick
To Feign Reality: lol
To Feign Reality: I DID name my dog after a Ron White joke, c'mon now
VibratingGlitter: God, that's true
To Feign Reality: lol
To Feign Reality: "If you name your family pet after one of my jokes, you might be a redneck"
humperface : Haha, I'm either going to be ignored or get my e-ass kicked
Rigo : ?
humperface : Livejournal community for bad tattoos, there's one of the Metallica ninja star type thing, one person comments with "If only the Metallica tattoo was any better"...I replied with "It's a Metallica tattoo. It can't get any better."
Grimm Epiphany: I am an everlasting source of amusement and annoyance
To Feign Reality: Not as much as me
To Feign Reality: I just wrote "buttfor" on the grocery list
Grimm Epiphany: lol sounds like butt cream
To Feign Reality: Don't tell me you don't know that joke lol
Grimm Epiphany: Alright, I wont' say anything
To Feign Reality: Oh Jesus god
To Feign Reality: You're not my best friend
To Feign Reality: You can't be
To Feign Reality: You're the brother posing as Jamie
Grimm Epiphany: lol
Grimm Epiphany: I don't fucking remember yesterday
To Feign Reality: lol
Grimm Epiphany: Let alone some shit called buttfor
To Feign Reality: Okay, in order for the joke to go right, just repeat these words: What's a buttfor?
Grimm Epiphany: Hahaha
Grimm Epiphany: Just like the what's up chickenbutt shit
To Feign Reality: No, this is funnier and less retarded lol
To Feign Reality: Just fucking say Beetleju...I mean, What's a buttfor?
Grimm Epiphany: Nice try, Beetleguise
To Feign Reality: lol
To Feign Reality: ASK ME WHAT'S A BUTTFOR
Grimm Epiphany: What's a buttfor?
To Feign Reality: For pooping, silly
Grimm Epiphany: lol
Grimm Epiphany: I saw a chick with an animated vibrator in her sig
To Feign Reality: You have the attention span of drool
Grimm Epiphany: lol
Grimm Epiphany: Yes
Grimm Epiphany: Say p&t out loud, what does it spell out?
To Feign Reality: Pampersandt?
Grimm Epiphany: lmao
To Feign Reality: Can you blow me where the pampers is?
Grimm Epiphany: ...
Grimm Epiphany: My mom and I always say that to each other
To Feign Reality: XD
To Feign Reality: Man, what the fuck are you talking about?
To Feign Reality: You've been babbling for 10 minutes already and I don't even know what point you're trying to make
To Feign Reality: I've been waiting for you to tell me I'm out of my element or that the Chinaman isn't the issue
ihatexjimmypage: i just checked your lj for updates
ihatexjimmypage: i thought the recent title was "rubs templates"
ihatexjimmypage: i was sitting here wondering what kind of freaky kinky things you've been doing with your web design
To Feign Reality: HTML foreplay
To Feign Reality: It's cybersex for the experienced and slightly creepy
ihatexjimmypage: slightly? i wouldn't want anyone coding frames into my asscrack, thanks
To Feign Reality: But just think, I could add Flash to your loins so your lover could be entertained or get help to locate the right spots
ihatexjimmypage: sometimes you scare me
Grimm Epiphany: *sucks on your head* Mmm, tastes like midget
To Feign Reality: lmao
To Feign Reality: *beats you off with a pixie stick*
Grimm Epiphany: Beating me off now? Wow, this advanced quickly
To Feign Reality: Man, I'm hungry
Midnite Storm XD: o.o perhaps you should go eat something
To Feign Reality: Too lazy
Midnite Storm XD: Well, press the button on the computer that fires food out of the cannon and into your lap
To Feign Reality: /pizza
Midnite Storm XD: :3 Good choice
To Feign Reality: I can't believe I just made that joke, I'm not even a gamer XD
To Feign Reality: Virgins are funny creatures
To Feign Reality: It's like talking to a mermaid or something
To Feign Reality: "Swimming without legs? Whaaat?!?"
LESSTHANPEZ1: im watching Army of Darkness
To Feign Reality: I've got that on DVD, fuckin' awesome movie
LESSTHANPEZ1: i know
LESSTHANPEZ1: ash is my hero
To Feign Reality: I wanted to get this sculpture I saw of him but I sort of don't have $300 to blow on a 10" thing I can't even masturbate with
To Feign Reality: I love saying "Everyone needs a Heatherface" like I'm a toaster or something
Angsty Soda: That's because you're our sexual toaster
To Feign Reality: XD
To Feign Reality: That's actually kinda creepy
To Feign Reality: Note to self: Never touch Jamie's toaster
Shinryukenaku: that hoody cost me over $100
To Feign Reality: Why?
Shinryukenaku: because its jordan gear
Shinryukenaku: i didnt intend to spend mad dough but i was like hm this is nice gear
Shinryukenaku: oh well get matching pant and sgoes
Shinryukenaku: hoes
Shinryukenaku: hoes
Shinryukenaku: huadvgfknv
To Feign Reality: lmao
Shinryukenaku: *HOES
Shinryukenaku: uhckds
Shinryukenaku: fuck
To Feign Reality: Shoes?
Shinryukenaku: SSSSSSSSS
Shinryukenaku: SHOES
Shinryukenaku: hahahahaahxd
Alnilam000: i had a really bad single serving friend
To Feign Reality: You've seen Fight Club too many times
MylkShayke: We went to McDonald's, and this woman got up and right before she walked out the door, looked at me and said very loudly and disgustedly, "I hope my children never look like that."
To Feign Reality: I would've run after her and said "I hope for their sake they never look like you either"
MylkShayke: LOL
To Feign Reality: lmao I put a zip disk in my computer and it's stuck, the button didn't pop out
Krikkit Minion: Does it have an emergency eject?
To Feign Reality: lol
To Feign Reality: No
To Feign Reality: It's a zip drive, not a plane
Krikkit Minion: XD
Krikkit Minion: OH GOD
Krikkit Minion: XXXDDD
Krikkit Minion: That's gold
To Feign Reality: It's great when you say it out loud
To Feign Reality: I kept typing "load"
FlamingMonkeyXII: wow
FlamingMonkeyXII: it's been a while since I got a load all over my screen
FlamingMonkeyXII: just kidding
FlamingMonkeyXII: it's been, like, 15 minutes
To Feign Reality: UNCLEAN!! UNCLEAN!!
To Feign Reality: You live in a place called Punta Gorda?
Krikkit Minion: ...
To Feign Reality: *falls over laughing*
Krikkit Minion: ....... Did I miss the joke?
To Feign Reality: It means "fat end" in spanish
To Feign Reality: You live in Fatass, Florida
To Feign Reality: lol Awww your Sim just gave me a flower
XxScottybxX: :-D
To Feign Reality: If The Sims had beer, I don't think your Sim would be spending so much time being nice to me, and I wouldn't be spending so much time out of the kitchen
XxScottybxX: ROFL
XxScottybxX: I feel bad, I was kind of mean to people earlier on AIM
To Feign Reality: Bah
XxScottybxX: Well, you're right
XxScottybxX: I was telling the truth
To Feign Reality: lol All I say is bah..."Well, I guess you're right"
XxScottybxX: I only feel remorse for a fraction of a second
XxScottybxX: lol
XxScottybxX: California's going to expload soon though
To Feign Reality: lol Why?
XxScottybxX: The earthquake theory
To Feign Reality: Bah
To Feign Reality: California's sitting on at least two...uh...the thing that causes earthquakes to happen...
To Feign Reality: lol [/smart]
XxScottybxX: There are more fault lines on the east coast
XxScottybxX: hehe
To Feign Reality: Yeah but my fault lines have ADD or something, they can't sit still
halbergman: Whassup, cracka?
To Feign Reality: Hey
halbergman: How goes it?
halbergman: Pretty good.
halbergman: Oh, wait, I asked that
To Feign Reality: lol
To Feign Reality: Are you stoned?
halbergman: No, totally sober
halbergman: I was just tabbing back and forth and I...
halbergman: ...Yeah, that's pretty unforgivable, isn't it?
To Feign Reality: You ARE aware I'm going to log that, right?
halbergman: It had occurred to me as I was typing my excuse.
halbergman: Hell, _I_ would log it if I were you and you were me.
To Feign Reality: Well, if you were me, then I'd be you, and I'd use YOUR body to get to the top
halbergman: Yeah, but I'd be a chick, and so I wouldn't need to... I'm not sure where I was going with that, actually.
To Feign Reality: You totally missed the Ace Ventura reference
halbergman: I suppose so.
halbergman: Eh
halbergman: Ot
halbergman: s n
halbergman: Stupid keyboard
To Feign Reality: lmao
halbergman: I was typing shifted one letter over
To Feign Reality: What the fuck were you trying to type?
halbergman: It's been awhile since I saw Ace Ventura
halbergman: But my pinky kept hitting return instead of "l"
A friend of mine used to have a log of funny things I said in IMs, I copied it and saved it, just found it, here's some of it:
PrittieGurlOnXTC: I found out the bf's 25 too, I was like "No way, you could so go for 21" and he said "You're just saying that cause you think I'm sexy" and I said "No, that would be if I said you should take your shirt off"
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Yeah baby, you're a sinner, and you're damn good at it
PrittieGurlOnXTC: OH GOD!!!! SCREW YOU HOTMAIL!!! SCREW YOU AND YOUR TEMPORARILY UNAVAILABLE!!!!!
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Maybe you ate a bad taco
PrittieGurlOnXTC: lol if you were straight that could be taken the wrong way
PrittieGurlOnXTC: lol oh god, go fuck a barbeque fork Jaikob
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Pfff screw them both, I'll be your boyfriend, it's not like you have to even see my vagina, I can get The Bulge and take webcam pics lol
MylkShayke: Hiya
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Possum
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Dead possum
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Had to touch it
MylkShayke: LOL
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Oh god
PrittieGurlOnXTC: lol
MylkShayke: WHAT??
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Just leave it alone, she'll either go away or be eaten by a badger, that's what always happens
MylkShayke: I saw a book that made me think of you!!
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Everyone Poops?
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Hun, if you ever move to L.A or I ever move to Dela....if I ever move and you happen to move to the same place (like I'd actually go to Delaware), you HAVE to be a cheeseburger for Halloween
PrittieGurlOnXTC: There's no way in hell I'm putting large black balls in my mouth Jaikob, I don't care how good they are
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Hun, what's 20 degress Celsius in Fahrenheit?
MylkShayke: I have no idea
PrittieGurlOnXTC: 70 or something, I think, I recall the math between the two was pointless if I wasn't in class and all I needed to do was add an estimated number, I think 40
PrittieGurlOnXTC: 40 + 20 = 70, shut up
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Holy fuck dude, I was right, I just asked dad, it's approximately 70
MylkShayke: haha
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Oh my god, I was smart and didn't even realize it
PrittieGurlOnXTC: lol I'm reading a webcomic where the guy just had his temperature taken and it was 20 degrees Celsius, which means dick to me
MylkShayke: LOL
PrittieGurlOnXTC: So remember, 20 + 40 = 70
PrittieGurlOnXTC: I was trying to do a google search on the bug I'm thinking of and got a really gross picture of a bug close up, some fly creature with a human head and hand
PrittieGurlOnXTC: lol actually no but that was funny
Zlakker18: happy birthday heather
Zlakker18: it seems like only yesterday you were 19
To Feign Reality: lol
To Feign Reality: More like 2 hours ago
To Feign Reality: I think my inner voice has Tourette's
sids ragdoll: lol, yours too, then?
To Feign Reality: I'm sitting here minding my own business when all of a sudden I think "EAT MY TACO!!!" And of course can't help but say out loud "That's damn dirty" despite I don't use the word "taco" as a metaphor for "vagina" unless I'm making a joke lol
sids ragdoll: "EAT MY TACO!" lol. I love you
xain broccoli: damnit heather
xain broccoli: youre just too cute
xain broccoli: anyone who gives you up has to question their worth as a human
xain broccoli: or have one hell of a way to make it up to you
To Feign Reality: lol
To Feign Reality: You know me, give me a giant bag of skittles or gummie bears and you're forgiven
xain broccoli: ah yes, youre every guys dream, a cute girl with a VERY short attention span whos incredibly easy
xain broccoli: to please
xain broccoli: dear god dont kill me, i swear that was a typo
squeejamie: I think I need to vomit
To Feign Reality: So do it *hands you a hat*
squeejamie: lmfao
squeejamie: If you have to spew, spew into this *hands you plastic cup*
To Feign Reality: Jared Leto was in it
To Feign Reality: Wrong IM
To Feign Reality: lmao
squeejamie: He was in the spew? Or the paper cup? lol
squeejamie: Yes, my sweet little peanut butter taco!
To Feign Reality: Mmmm taco
To Feign Reality: Mmmm peanut butter
squeejamie: Give me some tylenol, and I'll smear my taco in peanut butter for you.
To Feign Reality: LOL
To Feign Reality: That is SO going into my funny IM blog
squeejamie: YES! Finally!
squeejamie: I feel like I should have an acceptance speech!
To Feign Reality: Leave god and Jesus and your agent out of it, they had nothing to do with it, it was that blowjob you gave me last night
squeejamie: Oooh, right!
To Feign Reality: Either that or simply the fact that you said something really damn funny
squeejamie: I don't know. I'm pretty good at blowjobs, but I'm also really funny. It's a mixture.
To Feign Reality: Yeah, that works
MylkShayke: Janet's boob is the closet thing we have to a JFK assasination
To Feign Reality: LOL
MylkShayke: "Watch as the nipple moves back and to the left...back, and to the left....back, and to the left"
MylkShayke: "So it's obvious there was a second nipple."
xain broccoli: your livejournal is all over the place
xain broccoli: sometimes you're fine and happy and goofy, other times you're moody and mopey, other times you're just plain pissed off at something
xain broccoli: it's stupid
To Feign Reality: Yeah, you know what you and your opinion can do? Bite me
xain broccoli: yeah, you're no different in i.m. conversations
xain broccoli: you son of a bitch humphrey
To Feign Reality: What did I do now?
xain broccoli: you got my sister addicted to neopets, she just came home with a fucking toy
To Feign Reality: *falls over laughing*
xain broccoli: you son of a bitch humphrey
To Feign Reality: Which one did she get?
xain broccoli: i don't know, i'm not one of you neoretardians, it's a dragon with stars on it
To Feign Reality: Is it a plushie or a little plastic thing?
xain broccoli: plushie
To Feign Reality: That's a Starry Scorchio, I've got a little plastic Scorchio but it's green. I also have a Starry Shoyru little plastic thing and a big purple Shoyru plushie, and the Babaa which you saw. The Babaa and the big Shoyru can talk to each other, and the two plastic ones talk to each other and move around
xain broccoli: heather, your name just skyrocketed on my chart of losers
halbergman: Hey, you don't ski, do you?
To Feign Reality: Hal, there's no way in hell you're strapping me to a pair of wooden planks and throwing me down a mountain
poison twilight: what's this neopets site you were talking about? should i sign up?
To Feign Reality: No freaking way, don't even go to the site lol
poison twilight: is it that bad?
To Feign Reality: I didn't make this image purely out of boredom
poison twilight: that bird's cute, is that one of these pets i can adopt?
To Feign Reality: *smashes head onto desk* What have I done?
To Feign Reality: http://www.madblast.com/funflash/swf/map_test.swf
goppaclon: did you forget i was canadian??!!
To Feign Reality: So your family gave you The Family Van, eh?
ihatexjimmypage: yea, my brother brought me outside and made sure i noticed the card taped to the window that says "cause we know you like driving a box"
xain broccoli: does she just look around her house and say "i should call her that instead of heatherface" ?
xain broccoli: hey heatherchair i'm gonna go grab a soda
xain broccoli: heatherscrewdriver, can i come over later?
xain broccoli: heatherpenis, i'll try to bribe my sister to drive you to fry's or something tomorrow
xain broccoli: heatherdust, is this annoying you yet?
xain broccoli: heathergascap isn't responding
xain broccoli: well maybe heatherbox isn't there
To Feign Reality: ...Gas cap?
To Feign Reality: You don't need your fingers for porn, just happy thoughts
To Feign Reality: Then your penis will fly
Quick summary: vampirepiggiehunter wanted to install her digital camera, apparently her brother normally helps with computer stuff but he's at a friend's and she wants to do it right now. She had an idea of what to do but was really afraid to break something. No problem, not everyone's a wiz with computers, right? So I decided to walk her thru it...
vampirepiggiehunter: could you help?
utopia_reality: Sure thing
vampirepiggiehunter: thanks so much
utopia_reality: Not a problem. You said you have the installation cd, right? Close any programs you're not using and put the cd in, let me know when the Installation Wizard pops up
vampirepiggiehunter: ok
vampirepiggiehunter has left the room
utopia_reality: ...
To Feign Reality: *dies laughing*
To Feign Reality: Okay...okay...I got the suggestion to download AdAware in an lj community, and some chick just responded to that comment with something like "I've heard AdAware is really great", here's my response:
To Feign Reality: Oh, sure, AdAware's fantastic. When it's not fucking you up the ass. I have to replace my entire hard drive because apparently ALL my files were spying on me. I can't even wipe the system clean, I tried and it stopped at 82%. AdAware's either the spawn of E-Satan or my computer simply hates me.
Stealthy Zox: I can fit my anime now, but I need something to put my compilation/tv and movie soundtrack/spoken word/miscellaneous CDs on.
To Feign Reality: So then you need a new one
Stealthy Zox: Yeah. Problem is... I don't know where the hell I'd put it.
To Feign Reality: I'll help you with that when I'm there
To Feign Reality: I could compact an elephant, I AM a girl, have you seen how we pack? Mary Poppins style
Stealthy Zox: Anyway, I'm famished.
To Feign Reality: Go have some food
Stealthy Zox: It's cooking, as I said.
Stealthy Zox: Whirrrrrrrr...
To Feign Reality: Whirrrrrr doesn't equal cooking, that's like, radioactive...ing...
Stealthy Zox: Right.
Stealthy Zox: With microwaves.
To Feign Reality: lol "radioactive...ing..."
--
MylkShayke: www.strictlyshoujo.com/cardcaptor/cbsyaorancostume.html babe, how do you think I'd look dressed like this?
To Feign Reality: What the fuck is that at the top of the screen???
To Feign Reality: And you'd look great
To Feign Reality: Mutant mouse!!
MylkShayke: lol what???
To Feign Reality: lol that thing at the top of the screen with the WEE BEADY EYES and it's saying "Ohhh you're gonna buy my chicken ohhh!"
MylkShayke: ROFL! WHAT???
To Feign Reality: lol now I'm thinking of when my dad was visiting his Aunt Rita or whoever it was with the Canadian accent, he walked into the kitchen to find her standing on a chair screaming "THERE'S A MOOSE IN THE HOOSE LET IT OOT!!" It took him a while to realize she was saying "There's a mouse in the house let it out"
MylkShayke: LOL
MylkShayke: Becki Lee says:
i love men.
Jet Boy says:
I agree
Becki Lee says:
men are great.
Jet Boy says:
LOL
Becki Lee says:
though i like girls too.
Jet Boy says:
YAY!
Becki Lee says:
Becki Lee says:
in fact, i wanted to show you this link:
Becki Lee says:
http://www.tampatantrum.com/boobiethon/photos.html
Becki Lee says:
BOOBIES FOR A GOOD CAUSE!
Becki Lee says:
i was tempted to jump in, but then i don't know if i'd be compromising my morals.
To Feign Reality: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY EYES!!!!! IT BURNS!!! HUGE HOOTERS ALL OVER MY SCREEN!!!!!!!
MylkShayke: LOL
MylkShayke: YOU LIKE BOOBS!
To Feign Reality: *sob* Big ones make me think of Mother
MylkShayke: Ewwww
To Feign Reality: lol
To Feign Reality: Especially big ones with no face attached
To Feign Reality: lol that made it sound like my mom doesn't have a head
MylkShayke: ROFL!
To Feign Reality: lol I'm laughing so hard at that
PrittieGurlOnXTC: The bible wasn't written to make sense, THAT would make sense, if it was to make sense there'd be more sex
PrittieGurlOnXTC: And guns
MylkShayke: it's a double-entendre
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Sex and guns, can't go wrong with that
PrittieGurlOnXTC: And explosions!!
MylkShayke: LOL
PrittieGurlOnXTC: And Ed Wood will direct it and it'll become a cult film in 20 years
MylkShayke: Ed Wood will direct the bible?
MylkShayke: lol
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Yes!! Can't you see it? *holds up hands* Just imagine lots of string
MylkShayke: ROFL!
PrittieGurlOnXTC: :-D
MylkShayke: Some things you say just so they'll get added to my you page, don't you? lol
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Of course!! And cause I get on a roll with my stupid humor, you can't possibly tell me you wouldn't go see a movie about the bible with Ed Wood as the director, he'd fit outer space into it somehow and Adam would die from fighting a huge octopus
MylkShayke: Let's do that ourselves!!!
MylkShayke: You can be Victor Wood and I'll be Victoria Wood
MylkShayke: As an homage!
PrittieGurlOnXTC: lol oh god, we so have to
Dvoted Isis: i need speed
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Why?
Dvoted Isis: just .. so i can be fast
[note: she means actual speed, not the drug]
Dvoted Isis: i need something to get me started to athletics
PrittieGurlOnXTC: I sometimes wish I could run, but I have asthma so I can't get very far before losing my breath, but it's fun
Dvoted Isis: well i am just lazy i need an extra push
PrittieGurlOnXTC: I guess just practice, that could help some
Dvoted Isis: i need a push out the door
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Oh lol
Dvoted Isis: i ran ok.. once i get started even with a messed up knee
PrittieGurlOnXTC: I can make a trail of skittles from your door to the street to get you out of the house....then I'll eat the skittles back to your door and you'll open it and go "what the hell do you want?"
Dvoted Isis: i think my boyfriend wants to see me in a bathing suit.. no way in hell
PrittieGurlOnXTC: lol
Dvoted Isis: Too bad I cant tell him your excuse.. I will peal.. fuck I am brown.. damn my sun resistant pigment.
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Yeah man I'd blind the world if I showed that much skin, I'm not just pure white, I'm like, mirrored and crap, I pull up a sleeve and BANG a beam of sunlight bounces off my skin and fries the closest baby
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Okay well see now I'm comparing myself to a super hero, but I'm still awesome
Dvoted Isis: lol.. that shit was soo freaken funny
PrittieGurlOnXTC: lol
Dvoted Isis: closest baby.. lol
Dvoted Isis: i cant stop laughing
Dvoted Isis: ok done
PrittieGurlOnXTC: lol I was gonna say person but baby came out and that was funnier
Dvoted Isis: it was
Dvoted Isis: ok i am still laughing
PrittieGurlOnXTC: I made a new journal last night lol
PrittieGurlOnXTC: On ujournal
Green Raver3: jesus
Green Raver3: you really need to get out of your house..
Green Raver3: 1984 journals..
Green Raver3: 238942935 web pages..
Green Raver3: 23582t65203523 screen names..
Green Raver3: on 234 different IM programs..
PrittieGurlOnXTC: 3 journals, 6 webpages, 10 screen names, 4 messengers
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Thank you very much
Center1199: my eyes are dumb....
Center1199: and my heads hot....
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Are you about to give me your legendary "i'm gonna go catch some z's" line?
Center1199: i didn't know it was legendary
Center1199: but it used to be on that medicine comemrcial.....
Center1199: like....ly-sol, will help you catch your Z's
Center1199: or whatever it was....i don't think it was ly-sol
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Lysol is a cleaner hun, I doubt it
Center1199: well...whatever it was
PrittieGurlOnXTC: lol
PrittieGurlOnXTC: I went with my buddy Jacob, and the meeting took place in a restaraunt so we all had food and drinks in front of us, and Jacob started like fiddling with his hands under his chin and stuff and *klink* knocked over his full glass of soda, it was so funny, and it spilled all over us and the girl next to him
xxChasingStarsxx: 0.o
PrittieGurlOnXTC: I couldn't stop laughing for 10 whole minutes
xxChasingStarsxx: hehe
PrittieGurlOnXTC: You know, if you say out loud what I just typed, I'd sound like a hyper cheerleader or something
xxChasingStarsxx: hehe ;-)
PrittieGurlOnXTC: "Like, and stuff, and like...it was so funny!" *twirls hair around her finger and looks vacant*
xxChasingStarsxx: >.<
PrittieGurlOnXTC: You know what I saw online? A photo of some Asian food place that sells smoked cow rectum
Zlakker18: sounds yummie
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Doesn't it? Everyone wants to wake up in the morning to a heaping plate of cow ass
Zlakker18: get your day started off right with coffie and ass
PrittieGurlOnXTC: lol
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Is that a glider you're holding?
Miznostramus: LOL! Yes!!!
Miznostramus: You are the FIRST person to recognize it!
PrittieGurlOnXTC: You can get those here? [note: he's also in L.A]
Miznostramus: Nope. lol
Miznostramus: I smuggled him in.
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Well I know about them from my bf, he wants one
PrittieGurlOnXTC: They're expensive
Miznostramus: You have a boyfriend?
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Yup, it says so on my profile
Miznostramus: Bye.
PrittieGurlOnXTC: lol alright
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Well I don't know what a chick is doing there, it's like in my dad's gun magazines, one time I saw this picture of a scantily clad chick holding a gun and a dog, and I said "What does the chick have to do with the gun and the dog? Or what does the dog have to do with the gun and chick? Or what does the gun and dog have to do with the boobies?"
Xystus741: I did a tattoo of a girl with big boobs today
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Awesome
Xystus741: lol
PrittieGurlOnXTC: lol I should get something like that on one of my boobs
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Boobs on boobs
PrittieGurlOnXTC: A girl with big boobs, on my boobs, with a tattoo of a girl with big boobs
Xystus741: lol
CharityCase13: Hi, this is Chastity! It's so hard to live up to my name...Click Here to visit my webpage! You can watch me, a dildo, and my pet dog make sure I stick with it!
CharityCase13: Hi, this is Chastity! It's so hard to live up to my name...Click Here to visit my webpage! You can watch me, a dildo, and my pet dog make sure I stick with it!
CharityCase13: Bitch, you didn't even click my link, did you? Hell, I'll bet you didn't even read it.
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Fuck off
CharityCase13: eat me out
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Do it yourself
CharityCase13: You'd know if I could if you clicked the link, wouldn't you?
PrittieGurlOnXTC: If you could eat yourself out you'd be making me pay to click that link
CharityCase13: Maybe it's a fucking paysite, stupid
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Maybe I don't want to visit your fucking paysite, stupid, why the hell would I click a link to see some stranger playing with herself? If I want to look at tits I'll turn to a Playboy
MylkShayke: God you're fun
MylkShayke: It was a link to your site
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Jaikob, you suck in such a non homo way
MylkShayke: brb
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Alright
Auto response from MylkShayke: bowels is such a funny word.
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Vagina's a funnier word
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Doodle's funny too
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Testicle
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Penis
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Nipple
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Doodle wasn't sexual but it's still funny
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Unless doodle can be a term for masturbation
PrittieGurlOnXTC (11:56:26 PM): Yeah, I'm out of humor now
MylkShayke (12:02:01 AM): i've been laughing for like two solid minutes now
PrittieGurlOnXTC: lol
MylkShayke: I had to prop myself against the wall
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Did "doodle" make you laugh that hard?
MylkShayke: Actually, yeah
MylkShayke: It didn't at first, but you went back to it, and that's what made it funny
MylkShayke: I'm in the mood for a sword fight
PrittieGurlOnXTC: *pulls out a banana* ENGARDE!! You fight like a dairy farmer!! AVAST!!! POOP DECK!! Heh, poop
MylkShayke: MWAHAHAHAHA! *pulls out dildo* YOU shall be spanked!
PrittieGurlOnXTC: AAAAAAHHHHHH *runs off*
MylkShayke: *Lifts dildo high into the air* I am the victor! And the Jaikob! Two names at once!
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Fuck dude, the time lol
Xystus741: lol
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Oh well screw it I OMG WHAT DID I DO TO MY MESSENGER?!?!?!?!
Xystus741: LOL
PrittieGurlOnXTC: I deleted NETSCAPE MESSENGER and AOL MESSENGER gets fucked with, WTF???
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Oh man I just had a heart attack, it deleted my away messages so I thought it deleted my AIM profile too
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Man I hate this font, damn defaults
Xystus741: LOL
Xystus741: Oh man, I'm seriously laughing here
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Okay AND IT JUST RESET MY FUCKING BUDDY LIST!!!!!!
Xystus741: LOLOL Damn, that sucks
PrittieGurlOnXTC: If it deletes my profile and ignore list I'm going to shit a brick, which will suck cause I'll have to eat a brick in order to shit a brick
Xystus741: lolol
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Fucking computer, I think I'm being smart and I get outsmarted by a MACHINE THAT I PROGRAMMED
Xystus741: lol Did it delete your ignore list?
PrittieGurlOnXTC: So far no, which is good, I can't find any bricks
Xystus741: lol
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Well that better have done something good for my computer other than letting it make an ass out of me, like "HAHA bitch, you don't know as much as you think huh? Wanna delete more?? Look at ALL these files!!"
PrittieGurlOnXTC: If there was an ass on this thing, I'd kick it
Xystus741: lolol
Xystus741: All this from deleting Netscape?
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Yup, I was deleting unused files from my computer and somehow deleting Netscape Messenger fucked with AOL
Xystus741: That's stupid
PrittieGurlOnXTC: AOL's the fucking devil, it rules the world, anything and everything that goes wrong is AOL's fault
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Messengers being fucked up = AOL's fault
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Lagging computers = AOL's fault
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Being fucked in the drive-thru = AOL's fault
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Kids walking slower in crosswalks = AOL's fault
Xystus741: lolol
Lautonelaurent: hello! i'm a french student
Digital Tearaway: Hello
Lautonelaurent: what's your name?
Digital Tearaway: Heather, what's yours?
Lautonelaurent: laurent
Lautonelaurent: i live near Paris in France
Lautonelaurent: and you?
Digital Tearaway: I'm in Los Angeles California
Lautonelaurent: chance! i would like come a day in california
Lautonelaurent: how old are you?
Digital Tearaway: It can be rather fun
Digital Tearaway: I'm 18
Digital Tearaway: And you?
Lautonelaurent: i'm 20
Lautonelaurent: Heather what are your hobbies?
Digital Tearaway: Designing websites mostly, drawing too, I listen to music and watch movies....not really anything unique
Lautonelaurent: it's good! i like draws
Lautonelaurent: listen US music
Lautonelaurent: girls too...
Lautonelaurent: have you a picture of you?
Digital Tearaway: I actually have a website you can go to, http://photos.yahoo.com/bc/heatherface_likes_pie
Lautonelaurent: ok i will watch it
Digital Tearaway: Do you have a picture?
Lautonelaurent: yes
Digital Tearaway: Can I see?
Lautonelaurent: yes i send you
Digital Tearaway: I haven't gotten it yet, I'll wait some more
Digital Tearaway: Oh there it is
Lautonelaurent: yes
Digital Tearaway: Did you see mine?
Lautonelaurent: i try
Digital Tearaway: Okay
Lautonelaurent: i have to click on heatherface?
Digital Tearaway: Yes
Lautonelaurent: ok
Lautonelaurent: Los angeles is dangerous or not?
Digital Tearaway: Some parts, but not all, bad things rarely happen but not everyone's friendly
Lautonelaurent: ok because in france when tv talk about los angeles it shows the Bloods and Crips
Digital Tearaway: They're not in all parts of Los Angeles, and it's not as bad here as tv likes to make it seem
Lautonelaurent: ok miss
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Hey, do you have an online journal?
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Or a website?
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Or something of the sort?
ReflectInSilence: no
ReflectInSilence: why.
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Cause I'm bored and don't know much about you, it'd be cool if you had a journal or something so I could crawl inside your mind and build a teepee out of a yak
ReflectInSilence: loll
PrittieGurlOnXTC: lol what? Yaks make good teepees
Xystus741: Welcome back
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Tnak
PrittieGurlOnXTC: .........
Xystus741: LOL
PrittieGurlOnXTC: That was the worst typo ever
Xystus741: It really was
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Tnak? I do believe there's an 'h' and an 's' in that word
Xystus741: lol
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Oh man
Xystus741: Yeah sometimes
PrittieGurlOnXTC: I can't stop laughing at myself
PrittieGurlOnXTC: You know Ava, if you loved me you'd get me some goddamn tacos and root beer and snow shoes already
Xystus741: Heather, I do love you, but life sucks right now so it's turned me into a hermit for the time being lol
PrittieGurlOnXTC: lol I DON'T CARE, BRING ME SOME DAMN SUSTENANCE...SUSTANANCE....SUSTENENCE....BRING ME SOME FUCKING TACOS!!!!!
Xystus741: lol
Xystus741: I had today off, I gotta work tomorrow but I usually get off early and I have Thursday off huh huh I said I usually get off
PrittieGurlOnXTC: lol
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Yeah I have Firday and Satuday off like last week, sucks cause I have to wait so long for my days off but it rocked having 2 in a row and I could go to Hedwig too
PrittieGurlOnXTC: ...Friday and Saturday....
Xystus741: lol
PrittieGurlOnXTC: That's just sad, I misspelled bith lol
PrittieGurlOnXTC: BOTH
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Oh man
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Hey I've got more of those tangerine Altoids, and I found out 7-11 carries them
virtua1emptiness: kick ass, i'm coming and stealing some from you tomorrow
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Hey no way man, these are mine
PrittieGurlOnXTC: You ate yours
virtua1emptiness: don't get saucy with me bernaise
PrittieGurlOnXTC: lol
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Leave it to me to make a Mel Brooks reference and not even realize it
virtua1emptiness: you've done it before, like when you were telling me about that kid with the staple gun and you were messing around with him and didn't realize it was loaded and you turned around...
PrittieGurlOnXTC: The little bastard shot me in the ass!!
virtua1emptiness: lol
PrittieGurlOnXTC: THERE'S A FLY IN MY JUICE OH GOD MOTHERFUCKING EW!!!!
PrittieGurlOnXTC: I COULD'VE DRANK THAT!!!!!!!
MylkShayke: LOL
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Drunken that....drank....what the fuck ever man
PrittieGurlOnXTC: The whole point is EWWWWWWWW!!!!
MylkShayke: Come visit Delaware!
PrittieGurlOnXTC: I would if I didn't have a fear of flying
MylkShayke: I have a fear of vaginas but I'm still asking you to come while you're on your period
PrittieGurlOnXTC: You know, if you read that sentence the wrong way I could legally beat the shit out of you
MylkShayke: LOL
MylkShayke: Hey doll
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Arr matey!! Enguarde! Touche!! Yo ho! Savvy? POOPDECK!! Heh, poop
MylkShayke: HARRRR!!
MylkShayke: http://celje.rula.org/cforum/?modul=forum&...m&id=1&tid=1010
MylkShayke: Go there!!!
PrittieGurlOnXTC: LOL oh my god
PrittieGurlOnXTC: He
PrittieGurlOnXTC: 's sliding down her shirt and she's getting pleasure from it?
MylkShayke: lol it's silk
PrittieGurlOnXTC: I should get me some silk clothes lol
MylkShayke: lol
PrittieGurlOnXTC: HARRRRRR
MylkShayke: LOL
PrittieGurlOnXTC: lol I finally just got your first "HARRRR"
MylkShayke: lol
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Can I kill him?
MylkShayke: lol yes
PrittieGurlOnXTC: lol rock on
MylkShayke: lol you had better not stay in Seaford for more than one night with all the murders you'll be commiting
PrittieGurlOnXTC: How the hell can you be allergic to petroleum? That's like being allergic to paper
MylkShayke: It melts my skin
MylkShayke: lol
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Like Invader Zim and water? Cool!!
PrittieGurlOnXTC: I mean, damn that sucks
MylkShayke: Have I told you lately how much Jesus and I love you?
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Jesus doesn't love me, he doesn't return my calls
MylkShayke: His machine's broken
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Yeah, horse feathers, that's always the excuse
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Hey, bring me some tacos, root beer, and some snow shoes
xeroGravity68: no way dude
xeroGravity68: you bring me tacos
PrittieGurlOnXTC: No way, if I could bring you tacos I'd be able to get myself some
PrittieGurlOnXTC: In more ways than one
xeroGravity68: lol
xeroGravity68: yea
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Mmm, Subway
Alnilam000: >.<
Alnilam000: i'd rather go on the krispi-kreme diet
Alnilam000: fuck the subway diet
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Diet? Who said anything about a diet?
PrittieGurlOnXTC: *looks at her apple pie in the kitchen* Am I on a diet?
xeroGravity68: i havn't decided on what all is in the package
PrittieGurlOnXTC: lol package
PrittieGurlOnXTC: You said package
xeroGravity68: yep
xeroGravity68: its a great phrase
xeroGravity68: i mean word
PrittieGurlOnXTC: I'M MAKING PIE!!!!! PIIIIIIE!!!!!
PrittieGurlOnXTC: :-D
ReflectInSilence: lol
PrittieGurlOnXTC: lol
ReflectInSilence: dare i ask what kind of..
ReflectInSilence: pie
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Apple
PrittieGurlOnXTC: MOOSE!!!!
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Okay no, just apple, they were out of apple moose
ReflectInSilence: poontang pie?
PrittieGurlOnXTC: lol no
PrittieGurlOnXTC: No muff for me, not on this nochy anyhow
ReflectInSilence: lol
reereejosh: ahh aha
reereejosh: HAHHHAHAHHA
reereejosh: hoo
reereejosh: im better
PrittieGurlOnXTC: My god man, was it really that funny?
xeroGravity68: i should ass your lites to my fav places thing
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Ass my lites? O.o
xeroGravity68: i'm gettin tired...lol
xeroGravity68: add your site*
PrittieGurlOnXTC: I'm seriously laughing at that
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Mmm, noodlies
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Noodlies? I meant noodles lolol
Xystus741: lolol
Xystus741: I'm gonna use that
Xystus741: Noodlies lol
PrittieGurlOnXTC: lol
MylkShayke: Y'know, I have a strong urge to sort of say "fuck you" to everyone pissing me off in my deadjournal. Should I?
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Go ahead
MylkShayke: Fuck you in the most extreme way I could, that is
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Sounds like fun
PrittieGurlOnXTC: lol sorry
MylkShayke: OOoh dirty mind
--
MylkShayke: Tell me Heather, do you feel the pains of being constantly on fire?
PrittieGurlOnXTC: No, I just constantly want to kill people....is that the same thing?
xeroGravity68: i need a new car
PrittieGurlOnXTC: That sucks
xeroGravity68: yea it does
xeroGravity68: i'm gonna start looking
PrittieGurlOnXTC: If I offer your car sex will it get better?
xeroGravity68: i don't think there is much hope for that car
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Sex might help
PrittieGurlOnXTC: It just needs to feel loved
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Does it have a sexy gear shift? I could get into the mood
xeroGravity68: lol
Josh: do you know the muffin man?
Me: The muffin man?
Josh: the muffin man
Me: Yeah that fucker owes me 10 bucks
PrittieGurlOnXTC: A bird in the hand is worth two in the head
dimensions18: well alright
PrittieGurlOnXTC: I've never figured out what that means, it makes you sound like a nut just saying it
dimensions18: well i geuss i am just a nut then
PrittieGurlOnXTC: I think we're all nuts
PrittieGurlOnXTC: You're a nut with nuts
PrittieGurlOnXTC: LOL that's disturbing
PrittieGurlOnXTC: I can't believe I just said that
PrittieGurlOnXTC: I'm laughing at myself
dimensions18: lol that's grand
PrittieGurlOnXTC: lol
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Hey, I never said I was a smart one
dimensions18: i am a nut with nuts
PrittieGurlOnXTC: lol
PrittieGurlOnXTC: I'm a nut with boobs but that's not as funny
PrittieGurlOnXTC: God I'm still laughing at myself
dimensions18: so you can be a nut with no nuts
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Yeah there you go
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Now I know why Josh and everyone else puts up with me, I'm a fucking retard who says some damn funny things
dimensions18: that is not so you kick ass
PrittieGurlOnXTC: So I'm a fucking retard who kicks ass, and says some damn funny things
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Being a fucking retard isn't really a bad thing, it just means I'm a dork
dimensions18: well everyone is a dork if you think about it
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Yes but I kick ass, so I'm better than everyone
dimensions18: there are few peoples as cool as you
PrittieGurlOnXTC: That's for sure, cause I'm a different kind of cool, I'm the person who invented the phrase "vagina pants"
dimensions18: true
PrittieGurlOnXTC: BWAAAAAAAA GLURBLIBBLEBIFFOOPOP!!!!!!!!
PrittieGurlOnXTC: lol hi Ava
Xystus741: lol Uh, hi?
PrittieGurlOnXTC: I figured "yo Ava" gets kinda boring
Xystus741: lol
--
XixhatexyouX3: who are you
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Heather
PrittieGurlOnXTC: I remember you, we used to chat
XixhatexyouX3: no same check the profile but will still chat
PrittieGurlOnXTC: I'm not on aol, I'm using aim, so then who are you?
XixhatexyouX3: wayne but you can call me god
XixhatexyouX3: who are you
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Hi Wayne
PrittieGurlOnXTC: I'm Heather
XixhatexyouX3: triston gave me the name
PrittieGurlOnXTC: How come?
XixhatexyouX3: so i changed the profile for me but the buddy list is still there
XixhatexyouX3: because i dont have one but know i do
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Well that was nice of her
XixhatexyouX3: the real reason was so i could talk to chicks
PrittieGurlOnXTC: lol
PrittieGurlOnXTC: I see
XixhatexyouX3: where you aloin from
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Ca
XixhatexyouX3: ky got any pics
PrittieGurlOnXTC: [gives him a link to my new photos]
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Go there, I just took those the other night
XixhatexyouX3: what the hell is that
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Click on it
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Are you new to the internet or something?
XixhatexyouX3: yes but got to go
XixhatexyouX3: bye
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Okay, bye
--
Me: I just did the stupidest most painful thing in the world
Me: Outside of jumping on a bicycle with no seat
Josh: lol, what'd ya do?
Me: You know those little things on the doorframe that the little whatchamacallit goes into to close the door?
Me: (Don't you love my use of the english language?)
Josh: lol
Josh: yeah i know what you're talkin about
Me: I tripped over Murphy and went sailing into it, my arms lying helpless on the floor, Murphy's trying to kill me, and the door thingy's laughing at me as it's sitting there all crooked like, I practically ripped it off
Me: *arm's
Josh: lol
Josh: are you ok?
Me: I have one arm and being laughed at by a door thingy and you're asking if I'm okay?
Josh: well, ya never can tell if someone is ok ya know?
Me: "Hey there bud, I noticed you're ripped in half and your spleen's spread all over the place, are you okay?"
Josh: right, if i saw that i'd have to ask if the person is ok, cause that sounds kinda painful
Me: lol
Me: That's sort of a redundant question don't you think?
Me: "Yeah, just dying"
Josh: well, if he's ok with dying then who am i to call an ambulance and ruin his fun eh?
Me: Knowing you, you'd start collecting his intestines to make art
Josh: yeah so?
--
coffeeFairie: still on?
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Yup yup
coffeeFairie: shame on you
PrittieGurlOnXTC: No, shame on YOU, you have school tomorrow
coffeeFairie: you should be sleep
PrittieGurlOnXTC: So should you
coffeeFairie: i can't sleep i have a paper due
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Ha ha
coffeeFairie: thanx for the support
PrittieGurlOnXTC: I'm not a bra
PrittieGurlOnXTC: lol
coffeeFairie: sure you are
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Am not
coffeeFairie: your a pain my side
coffeeFairie: lol
coffeeFairie: :-P
PrittieGurlOnXTC: You wear your bra on your side? No wonder you were bouncing at the prom
coffeeFairie: hahaha
coffeeFairie: no the under wire sticks me
coffeeFairie: and it's a pain
PrittieGurlOnXTC: lol oh
coffeeFairie: like you
coffeeFairie: lol
PrittieGurlOnXTC: So see, I'm not a bra, I'm underwire
coffeeFairie: what ever your a pain
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Hahahaha
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Whatcha doing?
ravenwashere: huh?
PrittieGurlOnXTC: What are you up to? You stopped talking
ravenwashere: oh sorry......speed's on
PrittieGurlOnXTC: I haven't seen that in forever. That has what's-his-name as the bad guy right?
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Dennis Hopper
ravenwashere: yup
PrittieGurlOnXTC: He was the bad guy in Water World too wasn't he?
ravenwashere: yup
ravenwashere: that movie sucked, it was total crap
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Yeah. And it feels like cold crap
--
HashBangSlashDot (4:53:34 AM): GOD DAMN IT WHY IS IT SO BORING NOW
HashBangSlashDot (4:53:38 AM): CAN'T IT BE BORING LATER.
PrittieGurlOnXTC (4:53:41 AM): lol
PrittieGurlOnXTC (4:54:00 AM): It's trying to tell us to go the hell to bed
HashBangSlashDot (4:54:10 AM): Well it can to the Hell to fuck itself.
HashBangSlashDot (4:54:14 AM): WHAT THE FUCK
HashBangSlashDot (4:54:17 AM): Was that a sentence.
HashBangSlashDot (4:54:21 AM): I don't think it was.
PrittieGurlOnXTC (4:54:23 AM): lmao
PrittieGurlOnXTC: I have this weird craving for chicken nuggets from McDonald's
Emerald Starr 6: I had some of those today, my bro got them for me
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Damn you for having a brother who's willing to buy you food
Emerald Starr 6: Why are they called chicken nuggets anyways?
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Cause it sounds more appetizing than 'chicken chunks'
Emerald Starr 6: Jinkies
PrittieGurlOnXTC: Jinkies.....isn't that a breakfast cereal or something?
--
Josh: my dad and brothers are arguing about what is gonna happen to the human race
Me: We're all going to die by way of a huge fucking rock plummeting from the sky
Me: lol
Josh: lol
Josh: we're talkin about the next evolutionary step an all that stuff
Me: Nope, we're gonna die when that asteroid hits us, the internet and news say so, you HAVE to believe everything the media says, don't you know that?
Josh: lol
--
PrittieGurlOnXTC (3:09:52 AM): brb, mom's making me do dishes
Xystus741 (3:09:57 AM): ok
PrittieGurlOnXTC (3:14:19 AM): I have never felt any more retarded in my entire life
Xystus741 (3:14:28 AM): lol
PrittieGurlOnXTC (3:14:29 AM): There is NO way to keep quiet while doing dishes
Xystus741 (3:14:39 AM): yeah, I figured that out a long time ago
PrittieGurlOnXTC (3:14:44 AM): I was trying to like put things away carefully since all I did was empty the dishwasher, and I fucking drop and break a plate lol
--
xxGloomPixiexx: What's the most disturbing line from a movie?
PrittieGurlOnXTC: "Pork is a nice sweet meat" - Babe
--
Josh: i wanna make a movie about highschool kids but instead of highschool kids i'm gonna use people in their 70's and 80's
Me: I wanna make a movie about porno stars but instead of porno stars I'm gonna use cheese that's been aged in a barrel
